Weak Bones
by Kat-Anni
Summary: There was a tumblr post about Legolas pretending to have weak bones so he doesn't have to carry stuff. Aragorn finds out and counters Legolas' bullshit with his own -namely a large stack of pans and a fat grin on his face. Crack, Gen, Friendship, Fellowship shenanigans.


_Hey guys! Long time no see :) Happy new year to y'all!_

 _So! This came to me after that tumblr post about Legolas pretending to have weak bones so he doesn't have to carry any extra stuff. The scene for this just seemed hilarious to me so have this little fic! I think this is the first one on here that has no angst in it...mh._

 _Hope you like it! Tell me if not writing angst is something I can actually do XD_

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 **Weak bones**

„I can't, you know. Elves have very fragile bones, it's why I'm so light."

"Oooh. Is that why you can walk over thin branches like that?"

"Yes."

Aragorn's eyes squinted. Overhearing this conversation from the other side of camp certainly raised suspicions inside him. He turned, and found out he was right:

It was indeed Legolas, claiming the possession of fragile bones to Sam, who had asked him if he could carry some of his equipment tomorrow.

No qualm whatsoever was on the elf's face as he said this.

"He told me about this too, last week." Boromir beside him suddenly piped up. They had been lighting the fire together and Aragorn's puzzled gaze slowly went back to his companion.

"I wanted him to carry some of the pans in his pack but he politely declined. Has to be hard." Boromir further commented, and Aragorn felt his mind racing.

Outwardly, he only blinked slowly.

"Polite…" he only mumbled, suddenly getting up. He stared at Legolas, eyebrows raised, shaking his head.

Legolas, who had once pulled Aragorn himself off a Cliffside and over his head with only one arm. Legolas, who had once lifted a giant boulder off his own leg and walked the considerable distance over to him just to ask if _he_ was okay. Legolas, who he had frequently seen arm wrestle against Glorfindel himself.

"Legolas?" he called.

"Yes, Estel?" the elf answered absentmindedly, obviously trying to listen to what Sam was shyly getting out of his mouth.

" _Can you hold this for me for a second?"_ he asked in Sindarin, making sure Legolas could hear him but didn't have to think too much about it.

" _Sure."_ He answers and demonstratively, Aragorn walks over to him and Sam, a pot stacked on several others in his hands. While he wasn't weak, he still had to struggle to carry them over as Legolas just lifted one hand, maybe thinking he was giving him his sword or something else light.

Carefully and with a smile of uncontained glee, Aragorn lowered his pan tower onto the elf's hand. As he'd thought, Legolas had no problem at all to hold it, it only dipped a little when the unexpected weight hit.

Immediately, Aragorn heard a gasp from Sam. He saw the Hobbit's mouth fall open and betrayal entering his face. Seeing this and confused about the pause of the hobbit's talk, Legolas turned his head.

His face drained of the usual smile when he saw what he was actually holding. After a second's pause, he winced, promptly dropping the pans as if in pain.

It was far too late to be realistic.

"Careful!" Aragorn yelped, his grin not contained at all now, as he caught the pans before they hit the ground.

Suddenly, Boromir was behind him. His gaze almost seemed deadly as it hit the elf, his arms crossed.

"So. It seems your bones are fine then?" he asked, teeth tight and the innocence in his question clearly faked.

Legolas looked at Aragorn, his betrayal clear in his eyes.

"I-"

"Legolas will gladly carry the pans until the mountains, won't you?" Aragorn interrupted in Westron, hands extended in a peace seeking gesture. His smile still in place, he countered Legolas' deadly glare with ease. After just a few seconds, the elf rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Yes. I will." And with that, he got up and was suddenly gone with a jump to the treetops above.

"He lied?" Sam asked, the expression on his face clearly saying that he could not believe an elf could do such a foul thing. Aragorn couldn't hold back his laughter now. Just the thought of Legolas claiming to have fragile bones…Legolas, who out of all of them –with maybe Gandalf as an exception- could probably lift the most weight?

"Don't trust the elf, Sam. Not when it comes to making his life easier." His winked at the Hobbit, who nodded slowly.

Still shaking his head, he clapped Boromir's shoulder. The man glared into the trees, clearly searching for the elf.

"Weak bones." Aragorn bellowed, his teeth showing as he walked back to the fire with the other man, hands around his shoulder. Boromir was mirroring his grin quickly.

The acorn hitting Aragorn's head from above with considerable force did not hinder his amusement.

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 _Tell me what you think! I'd be glad to hear any of your thoughts :3_


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